If only we had...

When attacking a point of view, it often helps to ask this question: where did we go wrong?

Today (June 2019) it is often asked in political debate:

If only we had not had a referendum...
If only we had voted to Remain...
If only Mrs May had let us leave the EU in March...

If only...

This is one of the easiest forms of argument and it is often used.Which is why it is so common.

If only Mr Cameron had not resigned...
If only I had bothered more with my family and less with my job...
If only I had spotted the lump earlier...

Regrets...

The problem is that there really is no answer to it. It is, after all, no use crying over spilt milk. Also it is depressing.

Unless -

You are truly sorry and are determined to do better.

I have a friend who was an alcoholic. Slowly, it grew worse and he turned more and more to drink as his life declined. If only he had stopped then! Then he lost his job. So he drank more. If only he hadn't lost it! Then his wife moved out. If only she had stayed! Then he began having black outs. If only he hadn't started drinking!

Eventually, like the Prodigal Son, he reaslied what a fool he had been.

He got up out of the gutter one day and went to AA. There he learned what true repentance was. As they all sat round in a circle admitting they were alcoholics, admitting what a mess they personally had created of their lives, sanity slowly returned and, with it, a determination never to touch the bloody stuff ever again.

Today this man holds down a very responsible job, he is sadder and wiser – and more wrinkled. And he knows who his friends really are.